


Disney Disaster

by Charmedforever9494



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, Disney References, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8459080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charmedforever9494/pseuds/Charmedforever9494
Summary: Clarke convinces Lexa to watch Disney movies!





	

“Of course I have heard of Disney movies, Clarke.” Lexa huffed. “I may have grown up training to be a warrior but I have not been living under a rock. Well not recently at least, there was that one month…”

“When did you -- no. You know what, we’ll get back to that.” Clarke said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Also, we’ve talked about the “training to be a warrior” thing. You know how ambiguous that sounds.”

“Warrior sounds more badass than ‘military brat’ though.”

“You’re totally changing the subject on purpose.”

“Clarke, I spent my free time training with Anya. When would I have had time to watch these children’s movies?”

“Oh I don’t know…maybe when you were a child?” Clarke groaned and let her head fall back against the back of the couch they were sitting on. “Come on, Lexa. You can’t seriously want me to believe that you’ve never watched a Disney movie because you were training with your sister…at like age five.”

“I mean, technically I was three.”

“Wait what --”

“Anya was seven and I was three. She wanted to be a soldier like our parents. I wanted to be just like her…so obviously --”

“Oh my god.”

“We were little so it is not like we were doing anything hardcore. It was mostly basic karate lessons until I was six.”

“Basic karate my ass --”

“Krav Maga training did not even start until I was eight --”

“Eight? Well it seems like somebody was slacking now, weren’t they. What the fuck did you do when you were sev--”

“I do not even think that we had a television.” Lexa interrupted thoughtfully. She sunk deeper into couch while simultaneously leaning into her girlfriend. “Actually, no we definitely did. You know how Nontu loves his nightly trash shows.”

“No but Gustus does seem like the type.”

“Yes, he loves the trash. I am pretty sure his all-time favorite is _Keeping Up With The Kardashians_.”

“Okay but back to --”

“Oh right. Nontu watched his shows and Nomon would watch her PBS specials --”

“Indra doesn’t seem like the PBS--”

“-- whenever there were no UFC matches on.”

“ _That_ makes more sense.”

“But Anya and I spent most of our time outside. She never liked sitting in front of the television for long so I never did either.”

“Lexa.”

“Yes, Clarke?”

“Will you have a Disney Princess movie marathon with me?”

“Oh I do not --”

“Please?” Clarke asked softly, preparing to put on the most convincing pout.

“Of course, Clarke.” Lexa melted at her girlfriend’s sweet voice. She leaned in to give the blonde a kiss but was rudely interrupted by the sudden burst of laughter from the kitchen.

“Oh my god, Alexandria. You are so fucking whipped that I am embarrassed for you.” Anya guffawed as she made her way into the living room. “She did not even have to pull out her pout. The pout that literally made you run down to the convenient store for gummy bears --”

“They were Swedish fish --”

“The closest convenient store is like two miles away and it was two in the morning.”

“It was one time!”

“Yes…one time too many, Alexandria.”

***

_Some day my prince will come_

_Some day we’ll meet again_

_And away to his castle we’ll go_

_To be happy forever I know_

_\- Snow White_

“Why does she need a man to be happy?”

“She just wants to be saved by her Prince, like every little girl who wants to be a princess.”

“That is quite discouraging for any young girl who wants to be the savior or wants to find themselves a princess.”

“Okay, I could’ve worded that a little better.”

***

_No matter how your heart is grieving_

_If you keep on believing_

_The dream that you wish will come true_

_\- Cinderella_

“That is absurd.”

“What? That you can’t blow up a pumpkin and ride in it like a carriage? Yeah, Lex, it’s not supposed to be realistic.”

“No but I will come back to that. I am referring to the idea that if you continuously believe in a wish, it will come true…that is ridiculous. How many children do you think have been disappointed that their wishes have not come true? Or even, how many of them do you think are convinced that they are not good enough for their dreams to come true? You cannot just believe in a wish, you have to work hard to achieve a goal.”

“Look. You’re right but this is a movie and I just want to watch her ride in a fucking pumpkin.”

“…I could make you a pumpkin carriage if you truly want one, Clarke!”

“You’re the sweetest and I love you so much but please don’t.”

***

_Don’t be scared_

_You got the mood prepared_

_Go on and kiss the girl_

_\- The Little Mermaid_

“Again, there are so many things wrong with this. Why are there always singing animals in these movies? This does not make any sense. Obviously they can hear him singing. Why is the man not confused?”

“You’re missing the entire point.”

“Why does the crustacean keep telling him to kiss the girl? She cannot even speak…I see no way of mutual consent.”

“But unsurprisingly, you manage to still be a realistic asshole.” Clarke deadpanned.

“If she had her voice, I am sure this would be more…romantic. Consent is important.”

“Never mind. You’re a sweet and considerate, realistic asshole.” Clarke sighed with an affectionate smile.

***

_Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!_

_Get your worries off your chest_

_Let us say for your entrée_

_We’ve an array; may we suggest:_

_Try the bread! Try the soup!_

_\- Beauty and the Beast_

“I _really_ do not understand all of these inanimate objects singing and dancing. This is more unrealistic than the singing animals.”

“Baby, it’s a children’s movie. It doesn’t have to be realistic.”

“Now, that you mention it. If it is a children’s movie…it really should not promote falling in love with abusive beasts.”

“Lexa --”

“Clarke. This animal has abused this poor girl and now she is in love with him? Obviously, this is a case of Stockholm’s Syndrome!”

“Oh look, more talking silverware…”

***

_I know you,_

_I walked with you once upon a dream_

_I know you,_

_The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam_

_\- Sleeping Beauty_

“Lexa? Are you alright? You haven’t commented in a while…”

“Is this really a children’s movie?”

“Yes?”

“There is absolutely no consent in this! What is it with these movies? They are trying to cover up these situations with no mutual consent with a facade of romance and magic!”

“I…okay I get where you’re coming from but let’s just move on.”

***

_I can open your eyes_

_Take you wonder by wonder_

_Over, sideways and under_

_On a magic carpet ride_

_\- Aladdin_

“I would like one of those. Do you think I could make one?”

“A magic carpet?”

“Yes.”

“No, baby. That’s not…no, you can’t.”

“Perhaps not by myself. I will have to make a note to ask Raven for her assistance.”

***

_You think you own whatever land you land on_

_The earth is just a dead thing you can claim_

_But I know every rock and tree and creature_

_Has a life, has a spirit, has a name_

_\- Pocahontas_

“Now this is a quality film.”

“Aw Lex, you like this movie?” Clarke grinned triumphantly.

“Minus the talking the tree, this could be a somewhat educational movie. Kids should know about those who lost their land when --”

“Alright babe, we’ll find a movie you actually like…eventually.”

***

_Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?_

_You’re the saddest bunch I ever met_

_But you can bet before we’re through_

_Mister, I’ll make a man out of you_

_\- Mulan_

“This General seems like a complete asshole. Why do you like this movie?”

“Oh my god, Lexa. Just watch the movie.”

“A children’s movie should not promote the thought that girls are not as strong or good as boys. This is a horrible example of misogyny.”

“It gets better. Just watch, sweetheart.” Clarke mumbled and grumpily snuggled into the older girl.

***

_Shh, trust me, pet_

_Mother knows best_

_Listen to your mother_

_It’s a scary world out there_

_\- Tangled_

“Nomon was never the stereotypical mother but I do not believe that this is an appropriate portrayal of a mother figure.”

“What?”

“This woman is terrifying. I will admit to being a little scared, my love”

“Aww baby!”

“Why is she so evil? Her daughter is so sweet but she is a complete witch.”

“Well…she is --”

“Oh wait. Witches are a common thing in these princess movies.”

“Well sometimes --”

“As well as no good mother figures and evil step-mothers.”

“Right.”

***

“DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN?”

“Oh. My. God.” Clarke gaped at the spectacle her girlfriend was putting on. “Please get your shoes off the couch, Indra will kill me for letting you do this."

“CONCEAL, DON’T FEEL. DON’T LET THEM KNOW!”

"I know _Frozen_ is a great movie but you hated every other movie we watched. Why are you like this?”

“Clarke. The subtext of this movie is fantastic. Elsa’s concealment of her powers is fundamentally a metaphor for concealing your sexuality. Or any differences, really.”

“You’ve been singing nonstop for the past two hours…”

“FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER --"

"Seriously. You legit had harsh criticism for every other movie --”

"LET IT GO, LET IT GO. CAN’T HOLD YOU BACK ANYMOOOORE. LET IT GO, LET IT GOOOOOO! TURN MY BACK AND SLAM THE DOOOOOOOOOR!"

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t seen Princess and the Frog, so sorry for leaving that one out!


End file.
